hoborg
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JJ
A dieselpunk novel with Spanish-created robot hobos in a balcanized America at the beginning of the XX century
After 10 years, some things are no longer necessary, and some were not really used. Difficult to list them all, but I'll simply leave this here to refer to it...
Just comments on things that were a bit unclear/vague and grammar mistakes. You have a distinct style of writing, and I think that gives a nice color to your narrator....
And produce a second edition, three years after. There are some *revise* marks here and there. Check them out, or at least delete them.
I just did a few revisions but was hoping on revising it more and helping it become a better novel.
Check inline comments. Some parts are unclear what is meant by certain phrases.
Some minor revisions to word choice and grammar. (some grammar errors were left to give an informal way of speaking feel. See inline comment.
See inline comments. Some parts are unclear to me what is being discussed (possibly because I haven't read all the preceding chapters).
Minor rewrites to chapter 5: Here's a bit of money to get you started