HyperNerd
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!hs that executes Haskell at runtime
Not that hard: http://hackage.haskell.org/package/plugins-1.6.0/docs/System-Eval-Haskell.html
But I'd be pretty uncomfortable with running that.
eval KEKW.. It would probably be the best to run a Docker container or something as a sandbox. Lots of similar bots do that and it seems to work out quite well.