fortune-rants

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20111226.232400 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on recruiting: "I will never hire a ninja unless I'm having someone fucking assassinated."

20111219.145600 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on poor planning: "running out of one AZ is pretty clown car shit."

20111213.114900 - Artur Bergman on VLANs: "VLANs are a sign of devil worshipping hillbilly networking engineers that can't understand why corpse fucking is bad."

20111108.133500 - Joe Miller on JBoss: "the whole point of jboss is to obfuscate and turn all problems in to 'seemingly random' problems"

20110823.174700 - Jordan Sissel on conferences: "frankly I think conferences built around felating a single company are retarded"

20110918.074000 - Jordan Sissel on Syslog: "syslog can suck it. it's not a protocol, the RFC says 'This is shit I saw in production so I wrote it down'"

20110707.161800 - Mark Imbriaco on monitoring software: "We, as a community, need to put our money where are mouths are and fucking build something."

20110707.103028 - Artur Bergman on LDFLAGS in Ubuntu: "that took 2 days of my life. you fucking twats at canonical"

20110706.175400 - R.I. Pienaar on Linux: "Being able to spot a pile of shit miles a way is a good trait in a sysadmin, so we dont use linux desktops."

20110705.185800 - John E. Vincent on the NoOps movement: "I swear I want to punch the #noops hashtag in the dick for general stupidity"

20110629.222400 - Scott M. Likens on MongoDB: "basically 10gen has a crappier track record then Britney Spears has a tight pussy"

20110629.173300 - Mark Imbriaco on intractable software: "Just add lua."

20110625.021800 - Jordan Sissel on Node: "It's been a month since the last node.js release; I think the project is dead."

20110618.125900 - Jordan Sissel on software engineering: "I just turn hate into software!"

20110617.100000 - Stephen Nelson-Smith on Packaging: "With the greatest possible respect, I call bullshit."

20110612.105500 - Benjamin W. Smith on Ruby: "That shit is like the 4loko of programming languages. Crazy but kinda fun."

20110612.080300 - Jordan Sissel on bad software: "Oh, and D-Bus is the greatest software-based trolling success in the history of software."

20110610.053900 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on AWS: "AWS gets you 80% there and then starts with the inappropriate touching."

20110609.210700 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on AWS resiliency: "I have about a month to build an AWS infra that is fault tolerant within a region. I want to shoot myself. My wife is currently ranting about cold failover sites."

20110609.210100 - John E. Vincent on NetApp status messages: "progress bar motherfucker... do you speak it"

20110609.205300 - Joe Miller on lame code repositories: "sourceforge is the detroit of open source software"

20110427.160400 - John E. Vincent on Amazon Web Services: "Dear Jeff Bezos, please don't mention EBS right now. My ass still hurts."

20110421.193600 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on AWS outages: "Talking smack about those of us on EC2 today? You have some pretty short memory about your own provider. Shut your face."

20110421.153400 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on catching up: "Paying down technical debt while still sprinting is hard."

20110414.175300 - Jason Dixon on RightScale: "RightScale is everything I despise about firewall GUIs. Easy abstraction, minus the easy."

20110413.203200 - Bryan Horstmann-Allen on Google: "I feel pretty strongly about using as few Google services as I can. Not because I think they're any more evil than any other corporation, but just because their shit gets on my dick wrong."

20110412.230500 - Jeramey Crawford on Nagios: "NRPE is pretty stupid, too, but at least it is stupid in ways I can manage."

20110412.174900 - Brandon Burton on Rails: "install, watch screencast, delete, use sinatra"

20110411.175200 - Jordan Sissel on github: "I clone em or bundler or something to test a bug fix or something, and 2 minute later my github home is full of pointless crap I don't want"

20110411.174100 - Jordan Sissel on node.js: "same reasons ruby annoys me a times, but like 10x worse. It's like they steer the API decisions through /dev/random on every minor release"

20110411.162500 - Jason Dixon on metrics via XML: "if my choice is XML or other, I'll take JSON. then other. then XML."